A Little Thing Called Karma
by JodieLove
Summary: Pool crashing wasn't one of Lily's best ideas. Getting caught definitely wasn't in the plan. And as fate would have it, of all the pools in the world, she managed to find herself in the one that belonged to James Potter. Through summer and 7th year, JPLE.
1. Karma

**I'm back, alive, and slowly going to start this new story. I haven't written for 8 months, because I've been at university studying science. The only thing I've pretty much done is filled scantron bubbles. So bear with me, and here goes.**

1: Karma's True Form

This was ridiculous, Lily Evans mused. She wasn't one to do something like this - something so risky, and well...stupid. There was no assurance of the outcome, and Lily hated that. No, hated wasn't strong enough of a description. She _abhorred_ it; _detested_ it; _loathed _it.

"I can just imagine all the scenarios running through that pretty little head of yours right now."

"None of them end well," Lily admitted. "I'm telling you." Lily paused. "I can't do this." She stared at the gleaming surface some twenty meters beyond where she was currently kneeling and tried to poke her head forward in an attempt to get a better look.

Yelping in pain as her hair got caught in the branches hovering near her head, she growled in frustration.

"Any louder and you might as well announce our arrival," teased the girl kneeling beside her, as she reached over to help untangle Lily's uncooperative mane.

"We're going to get caught, and then tortured, and then put in the dungeons...I'm not ready for my life to be over. I just started _The Tempest _a couple of days ago and it's amazing and I'd really appreciate finishing it. Not to mention, my mother would miss me terribly!" Lily looked left and right, her fingers still combing through her red hair. Her perceptive green eyes scanned back and forth anxiously. "Oh, and I still haven't written my N.E.W.T.s!"

Her friend's lips twitched as she struggled to contain her amusement. As she slipped an elastic off her wrist and handed it to Lily, she sighed. "Calm your horses, sweetie. Firstly, I know for a fact that no one—and that even includes _you_—reads Shakespeare for fun. That book has been sitting on your desk, collecting dust, since the beginning of summer, and you only started reading it because you took Petunia's words as a challenge. You _hate _it!"

Lily finally ripped her eyes off the water and turned to look at her friend. "I like it!" she protested.

"You hate it…and secondly," the girl continued, "If I were to die – Merlin forbid – I'd really rather it happen before I had to study my arse off for the N.E.W.T.s. Imagine wasting all that time studying for those bloody exams!"

"Katherine Lisa Elliot! You're supposed to assure me that we are _not _going to die…not speculate on your own death!"

The brown eyed girl smiled impishly and shrugged, "I'm just saying."

Lily observed Kat's profile as her friend turned to survey their entrance route. Her wavy black hair was jutting out of her haphazard ponytail like a broom's end – a description Kat always used as she mourned the loss of her long-haired days. Her bluntly cut bangs gently brushed her eyelashes as she squinted.

"Look, there's no one there. If we're going to do this, we better do it now!" Kat's voice snapped Lily back to reality, out of her observational thoughts.

"Kat, let's just back out. This is going to end badly," she pleaded.

"Lils, we're on a _mission_."

As in, there was no backing out, Lily thought dejectedly. "We're going to die," Lily stated, even as she relented.

Kat grinned, knowing she had won.

"Ready?"

Lily quickly tied her hair up into a bun on top of her head, and nodded. "Set..."

Kat gripped the edge of her tank top in anticipation.

"Go!", both girls screamed at once, giggling a little as they ripped their shirt off.

"Bet you I'm going to get there before you!" Kat hobbled past the line of low trees as she wiggled out of her shorts and kicked off her flats.

Lily smiled and rolled her eyes, in mock exasperation. She threw her own shorts to the ground and, after a moment's hesitation, sprinted forwards. "Oh, what the hell," she mumbled.

As she reached the edge of the water, she took one big leap and tucked her legs into her body, bracing for impact. Seconds later, Lily resurfaced, bobbing up and down in the water. She brought her hand out of the water to brush the hair that was plastered against her forehead, off. "I'm pretty sure I won that bet," she laughed, swimming to the edge of the pool.

Lily crossed her elbows over the edge, and looked backwards at her approaching friend, waiting.

Kat surfaced beside her and gripped the ledge. She smiled as she responded, " only by a second."

Kicking off the wall, she floated on her back, arms and legs sprawled in all directions. "This water is perfect. Don't you wish you had a pool like this?"

Repositioning herself so that her back was against the wall of the pool, she nodded. "Who doesn't wish they had a house like this?"

With Kat still floating leisurely, Lily took the time to admire her surroundings. Looming in her view was a spectacular house – maybe even a mansion. She wasn't exactly sure at what particular size a house was classified as a mansion, but she had to imagine it'd be pretty close to what was in front of her. The structure was _huge, _and so beautiful.

The building itself was almost all white, with huge glass windows overlooking…well, everything.

Lily imagined what the inside would look like; maybe sparkling black floors and spiral staircases. The furniture, she envisioned, would probably be all stiff and uncomfortable for the sake of ostentatious beauty.

"—Lily!"

Lily blinked and looked blankly at her friend. "What?"

"I said, wasn't this a great idea?"

She raised an eyebrow. "You mean, illegally breaking into someone's private property and risking a criminal record and jail time?"

"You forgot, in our panties."

"The most important part," Lily sarcastically replied. Then, she grinned mischievously at the blissful girl drifting by her. Letting go of the wall, she brought her hands together perpendicular to the surface of the water and gave one giant push, sending a roaring wave at her friend.

Sputtering from the attack, Kat flipped herself upright as she reached shallow water, and shook her head. "Oh, live a little Lils. Besides, the technicalities are what matter. We're exploring London, and in doing so, borrowing someone's pool, and enjoying our last summer as students to the fullest possible degree."

"So in other words, trespassing for the greater good." Lily began swimming away, a smile plastered on her face despite herself.

Out to get revenge, Kat swam after her, keeping her head above the water so that she could respond. "Precisely! Well put, my friend. Nobody will even know we were here. The old fools who own this face probably don't make use of this pool enough anyways."

"We're just doing them a service then."

"You're catching on really fast!" By now, she had Lily cornered.

Lily flinched in anticipation of being drenched.

"What can I say," Lily shrugged, "I've always been a quick learner." She smiled at her friend, and finally admitted it. "Alright, I concede. This _was _a great idea and I'm not going to die."

In retrospect, Lily should have figured out that those words probably jinxed the entire mission-adventure-outing thing of theirs.

In afterthought, she should have never let Kat talk her into something so bloody stupid.

And in hindsight, after agreeing to Kat's insane plans, she should have definitely looked up who's house they were trespassing on. It could have well been Voldemorts', which would have been a disaster. Although, this wasn't much better.

"Who's there?"

The girls looked at each other, wide eyed, and froze, staying perfectly still and quiet.

"I know someone's there," the voice said dully, approaching with each passing second.

Without an escape, and with only one option left, Lily took it. She death glared her friend. What else could she do?

And then it happened.

"You're kidding." The boy muttered, as he finally caught sight of the girls. He lowered his wand, and for a second, could only crinkle his forehead in utter disbelief.

Kat had the audacity to throw her head back and laugh, as Lily sunk down and submerged her head under water, willing this all to go way. She didn't even have to look back to recognize that voice.

Lily swore profusely and loudly underwater. The words were muffled to everyone else, and appeared only as little surfacing air bubbles, but was unmistakable.

This _had _to be one sick joke, Lily thought desperately. Even so, she knew it wasn't. This was karma, she reasoned as she frowned. They _did _say karma was a bitch.

But in this case, it was in the form of a boy, arms crossed and smirking by the side of his pool.

"Well Lils, since I'm assuming you're about to kill me, I guess I won't have to write those N.E.W.T.s after all?"


	2. Blackmail

A/N: Sorry guys, I accidentally deleted it when I was trying to export it. It's not a new chap, but I'm writing one now.

2: _Black-_mail 

Sirius Black never had an easy life. Growing up the heir to the Black name, first son of Orion and Walburga Black, meant a childhood predetermined by fate to be, for lack of better words, doomed. Because Sirius wasn't like his parents, his grandparents, or his brother, and that was the greatest shame he could ever bring to the family.

Maybe it was in his very nature. Even as a toddler, before he knew what blood was, he had always itched to rebel. However, his father's hard hand had quelled most of those itches.

Still, as he grew, the itches only grew with him, getting stronger and more difficult to resist. He was always different – from the way he acted to the very ideas he believed.

So when he entered Hogwarts for the first time on that fateful night, someone scratched that itch for him. Oddly, that someone was more of a something. Namely, the sorting hat.

The first Black to ever be sorted into Gryffindor. To this day, he still released a chuckle recalling his parents' fury and embarrassment, and the overwhelming satisfaction it brought him.

When he thought back on it, Sirius figured that that was the moment he was finally blessed by whatever God was up there. True, those first few weeks at school were hard. Nothing like he had imagined. He had accepted that he would have been in Slytherin, given the respect demanded by his name, regardless of the fact that he never wanted any of it. But in mere seconds, one booming "Gryffindor" by the hat sitting on his head changed everything. Being cast out by his own, and shunned in his house for his name was a shock to him.

Still, it was worth it for two reasons. It brought him the greatest friends a man could have, and it set him, on what Sirius firmly believed, was the right path. And no matter what happened, those were two things he would never forget, and could never cherish enough.

His grey eyes flickered to the great white mansion behind him, and he smiled. His father had disinherited him when he decided to leave home, but he had found a better family.

No, Sirius corrected himself, he had found a better family the first few weeks at Hogwarts six long years ago, when James Potter stuck his hand out and introduced himself. James hadn't asked for Sirius' name, for everyone knew who he was – the _Black boy sorted into the wrong house._ James hadn't doubted that he would prove everyone wrong, and that he was sorted into the right house.

James Potter was his best friend.

And that girl right there? She was the love of his life. James' that is.

He crossed his arms and smirked. His shaggy black hair fell mischievously into his twinkling eyes, as he watched Lily Evans disappear beneath the surface of the water.

He waited patiently for her to reemerge, knowing full well that she needed time to come up with a strategy to get herself out of this situation. Too bad for her that Sirius was one of, if not _the _best, at tactfully negotiating deals to get out of trouble. Lily Evans stood no chance.

Really, this was simply a serendipitous turn of events. He had been out taking a walk to clear his mind when he had heard noise from the pool area – talking and perhaps some laughing.

And because he really doubted Mr. and Mrs. Potter would be out this late, and as he had just seen James inside the house, he had brought his wand to the ready and set out to investigate.

He wasn't sure what he expected to find, but it certainly wasn't Kat Elliot and Lily Evans, that was for sure.

He carelessly strode over to a pool chair nearby and took a seat on the edge. Well, he thought amusedly, James would be sorely jealous that he had missed his chance to see Lily in her knickers. At the rate things were going for his friend, it would have been perhaps his _only_ chance.

He leaned forwards toward the pool, his elbows perched on his knees, as he greeted Kat.

"This was your idea?" he asked her. At this point, he wouldn't even be surprised if Lily had come up with this plan. Even if she didn't believe it herself, he had always seen a little bit of a rebel inside of her. For all the goody-good image she portrayed, she had always loved a good prank and adventure. That, she never admitted though.

Kat nodded. "I'm going to go on a hunch here," she began. She pointed at the house in the background, as Lily finally resurfaced. "Of all the houses with pools in London, we've managed to crash the one that belongs to the Potters."

She didn't even wait for Sirius to respond, instead turning to Lily. Her eyes filled with mirth. "It really is fate Lils."

"Don't you dare say that," Lily gritted out, crossing her arms over her chest. She turned to where she expected Sirius to be, her mouth open, ready to make a comment, only to find that he was missing.

"Over here," Sirius called towards her, waving mockingly.

She whirled on him, narrowing her eyes. "And I suppose you find this all very funny."

"Actually…" He pretended to think it over. "This is way beyond the point of funny."

And then he had the audacity to laugh. At her!

He pretended to take his shirt off. "Mind if I join?" he teased the girls.

"Black!" Lily screeched. She glared, daring him to continue.

Behind Lily, Kat was wringing out the water from her hair, figuring that this swim was over. Even though Sirius would have no objections to the girls staying, Lily would never have it. She could practically see the steam coming out of her ears, and hear the wheels churning in her head.

Oh, she knew exactly what her best friend was thinking. Lily was figuring out how to keep Black from talking, especially to James. Kat shook her head sadly. There really was no way, she thought to herself.

Sirius let go of his shirt. "It's a nice pool isn't it?"

Kat nodded eagerly. "I knew the Potters were rich, but not this rich. It's beautiful," she admitted, speaking for both Lily and herself.

"Well I think it's hideous," Lily declared impetuously, lying. "You can have this stupid pool, and I'll just go home right now."

Sirius laughed. "If you say so Lily, but then you wouldn't know how I plan to use this information."

Lily swore under her breath. Of course Black would make this as difficult for her as possible.

"By the way," Sirius quipped, in a pleasant, casual manner, "I've got to say, both you girls look fabulous in your knickers." He added in a wink, just to egg Lily on.

Kat blushed, and exclaimed, "Sirius!"

And Lily…well, the mixture of anger, embarrassment and genetics turned her into a bright red tomato.

"You cad!" she shouted. "Turn around this instant!" Lily dipped herself back into the water, in a feeble attempt to conceal herself. She cursed the fact that her wand was a few feet from the pool. Stupid, stupid Lily, she chided herself.

"_Right now _Black," she threatened, her voice dangerous.

How, oh how, had she gotten herself into this, Lily thought miserably. To be caught breaking rules, by the man who she had preached to over and over again, in her knickers no less…

"Fine, fine," he raised his hands up in mock surrender. Sirius laughed again, but turned around nonetheless.

"No peeking," she warned, before bolting straight to her wand. She conjured herself a big, fluffy towel and wrapped it tightly around herself, before conjuring one up for Kat as well.

The other girl took the towel from Lily as she, too, got out of the pool. After wrapping it around herself, she took a seat on an empty pool chair. She had come into this night expecting it to be fun and interesting, but never imagined it would be _this _interesting.

"James is really going to hate himself for missing this," Sirius mused loudly, chuckling again. "Can I turn around yet? I mean, really, I already saw you both quite thoroughly before I made that comment."

"You're digging your own grave, Black," Kat supplied, combing her fingers through her hair.

Lily huffed indignantly and chose to ignore the last part. Instead, she focused on the first part of his comment. "Yes, you may turn around. And Potter is never going to know about this."

Of all people in her year – no, of all people in the world maybe – James Potter was the most annoying, aggravating, cocky person she knew. He was the bane of her very existence. And if he knew about this, he would _never _let her live it down.

Even if he didn't tease her mercilessly about it, which was unlikely, he would most certainly have this look in his eyes every time he looked at her. The look would say something like "I know what you did this summer Evans" or "I always knew you would love breaking rules". It would kill her.

Sure, she had kind of always wanted to do something exhilarating like this, but no one was supposed to know that. _Certainly_ not James Potter.

Unfortunately, he seemed to think he was the person who knew her best.

She simply couldn't allow Potter to have this information. His smugness would make him unbearable, even more so than he currently was. That was no small feat indeed.

The embarrassment of this all was already bad enough, but to have Potter hold this above her head…

No, it simply wouldn't do.

"Well Lily dear, James is going to know about this because, unluckily for you, I caught you in the act."

Really, was the girl foolish, Sirius thought. How did she believe he was going to keep this from his _best _friend. James would love hearing about this, and Sirius would love seeing how jealous James would get once he realized Sirius got to see Lily in her undergarments. He rubbed his hands together in delight.

He suddenly thought of an idea. He could even _show _James what he had missed through his memories and a pensive. He shared this thought with the girls.

"No!" Lily protested violently. "You can't!" She put her face in her hands and shook her head. Now, not only would he know of this embarrassing incident, he would _see _it too?

Merlin, the comments it would bring up from him. Oh, it would never end. After all these years, Potter would actually get to see her in her knickers.

What had she done?

"Technically, I can," he pointed out.

Lily seriously considered hexing Sirius into oblivion, but no matter how many hexes she threw, he would still show James the bloody memory. It would only make him want to show James more, actually, to spite her.

And she really wasn't so desperate as to remove his memory altogether. She wasn't even sure if that was legal.

Avada-ing him – even if it _was _Sirius Black – was probably a little too extreme.

She gripped her towel against her body and stomped her feet. "No. You. Will. Not," she ground out forcefully. "You will not! I hate you Sirius Black! You're a right prick you know!"

"Why, of all the houses in London, did I end up at this one?" she groaned aloud, when she finally admitted to herself that no tantrum would stop Sirius Black. She continued to rant, mostly to herself.

Sirius watched the girl in distress, and sent a glance over to Kat. He was relieved to find that her best friend wasn't worried at all. Actually, she seemed terrible amused, as her fingers continued to untangle her hair.

If it were any other girl, at this state of distress, Sirius would be preparing for hysterical tears. But Lily Evans? No, the only hysterics she would likely go through would be anger and rage. The girl was strong.

He inched his fingers towards his wand, just in case. He had been on the receiving end of a few of her curses before, and it wasn't pleasant.

Finally, she looked up, suddenly calm.

Sirius gulped with uncertainty.

She sighed in resignation and tried a different tactic. She pouted, and stared at him with her eyes as wide and beady as possible. "Is there really no way to keep this a secret between us?"

Sirius began to shake his head when a thought suddenly came to him.

Sure, he could show James the memory, and James would be pleased. But maybe, just maybe, there was a way for James to see Lily Evans in her knickers in real life, for himself.

All he needed was a chance.

For all James had done for Sirius, this was the least he could do.

Blackmail _did_ have his name in it, after all.

"Well," he began. "There _is _one other option."

"There is?" Kat questioned, suddenly interested.

Lily narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "And what would it be?"

"If you spend some time with him this summer, I'll never show him this memory, never mention a word of this night to anyone. It'll be like it never happened."

"That's blackmail!" she exclaimed.

"I consider it…a trade."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Oh please. That is _so _like you."

"You wound me, Evans."

He softened, all teasing and joking gone. "Give him a chance Lily," he said quietly, his eyes pleading for his friend. "Just spend some time with him this summer."

Lily had to admit, she was impressed by how much the Marauders looked out for one another. Still, she wasn't so sure this alternative was much better than the original.

"I can barely stand him at school Black," she pointed out, not angrily.

She looked at her best friend for advice. Oddly, Kat looked suddenly quite sullen. As she met Lily's eyes though, she plastered a smile on her face. "He really does like you Lils," she reassured, almost sadly.

Lily frowned.

"Just a few days a week. There's only six weeks left this summer anyways," Sirius tried.

"I…I don't think it's a good idea," Lily admitted.

"How well do you know him Lily?" Sirius fought for his friend.

"I know him very well!" Lily replied indignantly. "I've known him for the past six years! He's –"

"But you don't! He's an imbecile around you Lily, because he could never think straight. It's not him at all," Sirius insisted, championing his friend.

Lily did have to admit that Kat had told her that multiple time before. That around Kat, James wasn't bad at all. She frowned deeply.

Sirius seemed to sense her quavering thoughts, because he continued. "He's grown up a lot lately Lils, you have to have noticed." Almost bitterly, he added softly. "We've all _had _to grow up." He didn't need to add, _because of the war._

He really hadn't been _as _bad the last school year past. Oh god, Lily realized, she might actually do this.

Kat quietly watched as her friend struggled to make a decision. James was a great guy, she sighed inwardly. If only Lily saw it. She gathered her strength, because she knew Lily needed her support.

"Lils, it won't be so bad. I think it's the better option," she finally said. As she said it, she knew Lily was practically convinced.

Sirius' last words sealed the deal. "It would mean the world and more to him."

Well that just piled on the guilt.

Lily sighed. She really didn't think there was more to James Potter than what she saw and thought about him. But she already spent every day for ten months in the same school as him. How bad could another six weeks be? It had to be better than letting her see the memory.

Still, even as she inclined her head slightly in acquiescence, she couldn't help but feel uneasy.

Spending time with James Potter? Oh, this would be punishment indeed.

**Please Review! I want to know what you guys think!**


	3. The Beginning

Chapter 3: The Beginning

He took a moment to take a good look at her. Her long red hair swung side to side as she walked. No, he corrected himself, trying to come up with a better word. _Swayed _gently side to side.

He didn't need her to turn around in order to know that she had a splash of light, barely visible freckles gracing her nose and cheeks. Under her eyes would usually be slight bags, from staying up too late with her studies, or reading, or whatever else caught her mind. And her eyes. Her eyes, as expected from a red-head, were green. But green was simply too ordinary of a description, a memory appearing in his head. Emerald. Foresty.

A sign of his pure stupidity in his youth, he recalled when he had tried to come up with a better way to describe her eyes.

"_Lily!" he called out, down the hall. They were in first year, and this was maybe the third, or fourth time he had spoken to her since the beginning of the year._

_She frowned and turned around, very aware of all the stares he was garnering. That boy just needed attention, she thought bitterly._

_Still, she allowed him to catch up, because she liked _his _attention._

_By the time James caught up to her though, and really looked at her, whatever he was planning to say to her flew out of his mind. Something about a pencil…and Snape. He couldn't quite put it together._

_Lily nervously twisted her hands together, feeling weirded out by his staring. "What?" she asked impatiently._

_But he was too caught up in his thoughts. He had first noticed her green eyes last time she spoke to him. But green wasn't simply too ordinary of a description, he had decided._

_Then, he had proceeded to ask Remus for synonyms to the colour green. To which his friend had fished out his thesaurus and listed off: olive, pea, spinach, grass…_

"_Lily, you know you're eyes are so spinachy."_

_She gave him a weird look, clearly confused about whether to take that as a compliment, or an insult._

_James, nervous and embarrassed, blushed. Arrogantly, stupidly and a touch naively, he forged on. "You should say thank you you know! I'm going to be the Captain of the Gryffindor quidditch team one day, and head boy so I can boss people around. You know, my father was head boy. _And _captain. I'm already the top of the class." He continued, grasping at anything he could to impress the girl and make her forget his blunder._

_Lily Evans though, was not easily impressed. "Well your eyes are the colour of pooh! And you're terribly annoying. I won't say thank you and I don't see how you dreaming of being all those things has anything to do with …well, _anything!"_ she responded. Then, she turned around and stormed off._

In his defense though, back in the day, he really didn't understand why she was the _only _person who was not only unimpressed, but disgusted, by his clearly superior quidditch skills, awesome sense of humour, unfulfilled potential in academics..

* * *

><p>Lily adjusted her top, and pushed her sunglasses up her nose. She brushed away the stray tendrils of hair sticking to her face and tucked them behind her ears. She then crossed her arms and shook her head. "It just doesn't make any logical sense!"<p>

Kat rolled her eyes at her friend's dramatics. "Lily, what is so illogical about us visiting friends while we're in the neighborhood?"

They were standing at the bottom of the Potter driveway at that particular moment in time, two days after Sirius had caught them behind that very house.

Lily sighed. "Nothing's wrong in that –"

"Exactly!" Kat exclaimed triumphantly, cutting her off. She slid her own sunglasses so that they now perched on top of her head, acting as a makeshift headband to pin back her short hair. Grabbing Lily's hand, for fear the girl would run away, she led the way to the front door.

Lily chided herself for being silly, and swallowed down her nerves. But In her defense, the house _was _enormous and intimidating. Funny, it didn't seem that way two nights ago.

Every single time she did something remotely daring, scarcely rebellious; she was punished dearly for it. Clearly, God (or Merlin, or whatever was up there) did not want her misbehaving at all. Now why didn't he feel the same way about those darn Marauders?

Speaking of which…

"Except they're not my friends!" Lily all but shouted, finishing her earlier thought. "And you? You're a horrible best friend," she pouted, not really meaning it. But honestly, not even Sirius was pushing her to spend time with James yet.

"Now I'm hurt, Evans," a very distinct voice spoke from behind her. It caught both girls by surprise, as their backs were turned from the front door. Lily jumped, startled, turned around, and glared, all in one smooth motion.

The devil himself, otherwise known as James Potter, had appeared.

Rather an unfortunate event, as far as Lily was concerned.

As it was rather a reflex for her, she felt the urge to respond with a witty retort. When it came to James Potter, it was that, or an insult. Maybe a hex here or there, or a full on heated argument once in a while.

"Oh please, Potter, what did you expect?" Even as she said it, Lily had to admit it was not as witty as she had hoped. Still, she refused to let her confidence fall, especially in front of him. Instead, she arched her eyebrow challengingly.

"I certainly didn't expect to see you two pretty girls on my doorstep this lovely Saturday morning," he replied smoothly, leaning against the doorframe with his arms and legs crossed.

She hated that. She hated that his response was so much better than hers. She hated how carefree he looked. She felt an inexplicable urge to push him and see if he would topple onto that smirking face of his. At that thought, she smiled.

When it was clear to Kat that Lily was off in her own daydream, probably plotting Potter's demise, she answered his implied question with a bright smile. "We were just in the neighborhood, and heard this was your manor, so we decided to stop by."

"We?" he questioned in good humour, pointedly looking at the petulant Lily.

"Alright, I admit it was my idea," Kat conceded. "Now don't you have manners James Potter? Our delicate skin is burning in this summer sun, and as a proper host, you should have let us two lovely ladies in _ages _ago," she teased, with a flurry of dramatics.

With that, Kat linked arms with Lily, and all but dragged her into the house, right past James.

With a shake of his head and a chuckle, James pushed himself off the door frame and followed, closing the door behind him. He scratched his head.

The day would certainly be more interesting than he had expected.

* * *

><p>"Can't we just ask him which way to turn?" Kat asked, exasperated. "He's right behind us!" she exclaimed, glancing back at the man.<p>

"No," Lily replied, without looking back. Since entering the house, she had pretty much acted as if he did not exist.

James suppressed a chuckle, knowing that hearing him laugh would only rile her up. Which wasn't always a bad thing, as he found her particularly beautiful when she was flaming up with emotion.

He often heard people say how emotional of a girl Lily Evans was. How she could never hold her feelings back. But James wasn't so sure how accurate that was.

Not that he was an expert or anything. He could have, and had pretty much, spent his whole life studying her, and still not understand her. The thing was, he knew this girl. At least, he knew as much about her as she could possibly allow. Lily Evans had a ceaseless mind and an endless pool of emotions, yes. But they were all safely tucked, locked away, in that pretty head of hers.

Only when he shook that cage, riled her up, could he see glimpses of her that she had hid away so thoroughly.

But doing that only made her hate him, more than she already did. He sighed quietly, remorsefully almost.

"Oh for God's sake!" Kat's voice interrupted his thoughts. "James just tell us where to go and ignore Lily here!"

James chuckled, both at his own musings, and at Kat's eruption.

"We'll just take a right here and follow the hall to the end. The guys are there."

"That's exactly what I was going to do," Lily protested. She reluctantly slowed her pace down, mimicking Kat, allowing James to catch up.

"I'm sure you were," Kat responded sarcastically, taking the words right out of James' mouth.

Soon enough, they heard male voices resonating through the walls. Lily led the way speedily, hoping to disengage herself from being relatively alone with Potter as soon as possible. He always had a way of making her uncomfortable.

"Remus!" she called out, almost as if his very presence was the lifeboat that was to save her. Ever since James had casually told them that "the guys are there", she had had a sudden irrational fear pop up that Remus wouldn't be there. She sighed in relief. At least there was _one _other sane person to keep her company.

Sirius, the prat that he was, made a show up rubbing his eyes disbelievingly. "Am I hallucinating Prongs? Wormtail, pinch me."

Even Kat couldn't help but roll her eyes. Of all the boys in the room, Sirius was the _least _surprised to see them, and making the biggest show of it at the same time.

Lily crossed her arms resentfully at the dramatic boy, before smiling satisfactorily as he yelped in pain when Peter actually pinched him.

"It was an _expression,_ you dolt!" he complained, nursing his arm. "You know, you have nails like a rat," he muttered grumpily, and meaningfully.

"Oh stop being a baby," Lily finally said, after hearing him whine for a good period of time, putting everyone else out of their misery, especially poor Peter.

In response, he waved his hands in the air exaggeratedly. "Oy! She speaks! The hallucination speaks!"

"She also hits too, if you don't quit it," she threatened.

Sirius considered for a moment. "It's a dream!" he declared, before bolting out the door in fear of the retribution to follow. The rest of the boys chuckled at their friend's antics.

"And I thought _you _were impossible," Lily groaned aloud, pointing at James. She really didn't have the energy to chase him around like she used to.

"It's a close tie," Remus chipped in, pretending to debate who was the more mischievous of the two. "I would have to say though…Sirius perhaps?" He looked at James.

"Oh come on Moony. Really?"

Remus shrugged provokingly. Lily and Kat watched the exchange curiously. They weren't often privy to such an exchange between the Marauders.

"Now I _have _to prove you wrong. You're just asking for it." James cracked his knuckles, as if preparing for a fight.

"Oh please don't," Lily sighed exasperatedly. This was _not _what she needed. The last think she needed was some type of misguided prank war between the boys she was coerced to spend time with. She had enough of it at school. And now, during her summer too?

And here she was, supposedly to witness some type of change in James Potter.

She glanced at Remus reprovingly, hoping to show him that she expected more in the prefect.

Peter, who had sat this particular exchange out, decided to give Lily a break. "They're just kidding around Lily," he kindly informed her. To which Remus and James both smiled in agreement. To which Lily's lips formed a little 'O'.

It was nice, Kat thought, to see James acting like himself for once. Without the rest of them there, she supposed he would have done something stupid like actually start a prank war with his best friend. Lily just sort of invoked that kind of reaction in the guy. It was a pity.

Kat took a seat on the couch that Sirius was previously on. "I wonder when he'll come crawling back?" she began, breaking the lapse of conversation. "Sirius, that is."

James plopped himself down beside her. "Don't worry. I'd give it a minute or two."

Lily, seeing her space beside Kat taken, proceeded towards Remus immediately. It wasn't as if she was going to sit beside Potter. Remus shifted to give her more room.

The last one in the room, Peter, was sunken in the bean bag chair on the ground.

As they waited for Sirius to return, Lily took the time to really take in her surroundings, realizing that she had been so focused on the characters of the room that she had completely neglected the beautiful room itself.

There were two couches in the room, an armchair and a bean bag chair – all black. However, Lily was surprised to find that all seating arrangements were fairly worn. Since the Potter's only had James as a child, she had to assume this was the regular meeting place for the four friends.

The seating surrounded a coffee table in the center, currently occupied by an abandoned game of chess, four cans of soda, and a bunch of papers shoved haphazardly under the chess board.

The room was illuminated by the massive window behind them. Light of every colour shimmered through the stained glass, trickling into the room.

Her observations were interrupted when, sure enough, about a minute later, they collectively heard some shuffling outside the door, which had been left ajar.

Lily was tempted to leave the man outside. "Sirius," Lily called out, after a nudge from Remus. "I promise not to hex you. You can come in now.."

A second of deliberation later, a shaggy mop of black hair appeared in the doorway. He narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "I don't believe you. Swear to Remus."

Kat laughed. "I thought you were supposed to be brave, Black. You were, after all, chosen to be in Gryffindor above Slytherin."

"If you'd have seen all of the things she's done to Prongs over the years, you'd be scared too Elliot," he defended. He turned to Lily and pointed at Remus.

James stretched his arms over the back of the couch. "He's right you know," he confirmed to the girl beside him.

Okay, so maybe some of her reactions had gone a _little _too extreme. But they were justified! And she had been angry! The saying, Hell hath fury like a woman scorned, was entirely too general for Lily's taste. More like _a woman angry, _she amended.

Lily, who had the decency to blush, turned to Remus. "I swear, Remus. Happy now?" she said loudly, so that Sirius would be satisfied.

Finally, after some convincing from Remus, Sirius re-entered the room and plopped himself ungracefully on the remaining armchair.

Lily, smirking, leaned over and gave the man a resounding smack in the head.

"Hey!" he cried out, rubbing the spot of the attack with his fingers.

"I never said I wouldn't hit you," she explained triumphantly, gloating over her revenge. She had been wanting to do that since the night at the pool. Lily figured that if he were going to blackmail her, then she wouldn't make it very easy for him.

Sirius, pouting, turned to Remus for support. The other boy merely laughed, shaking his head. "I suppose she's right," he admitted. "She technically didn't hex you."

"Remus, she's turning you _too?_" Sirius demanded, jokingly. "First, it's James. Now you?"

"I guess I'm simply more attractive than you, Black. People just like me better," Lily joined in.

Inwardly, James had to agree.

"Is that what you're here for then? To turn Remus, my best friend, against me? You're an evil one, Evans. Real devious."

Lily chuckled, enjoying the playful banter. She shared a look with Kat, pretending to consult. "Well yes," Lily began. "That's precisely why I came here." She turned to Remus. "Is it working?"

"I dare say it is," he agreed with a smile.

"Lily, I'd say mission accomplished," Kat exclaimed, holding out a hand for a high five. Lily obliged.

James watched the exchange with a small smile. Sure, he noticed that she was steadily avoiding any direct conversation with him still. And admittedly, he'd have appreciated being the one to banter with her. But he still loved to watch her like this. If any girl could keep up with the Marauders, it was Lily Evans. Hell, she could be one step ahead of them.

"Prongsss, help me out here," Sirius whined, after a while. "Peter's dozed off, and is absolutely useless."

* * *

><p>A little while later, James had abandoned his own inner thoughts and immersed himself into their conversation.<p>

In turn, Lily had sunken into her own thoughts. She had rather abruptly, suddenly quieted down, gotten up, and drifted towards the window seat.

"Is she okay?" Lily heard Remus ask Kat quietly.

"She's probably just tired," Kat explained. Lily could feel Kat's eyes trained on her.

She ignored them.

Lily wasn't tired. She was angry. At herself. The moment she realized that she was actually having a rather decent time with James, Sirius, and Remus – even bordering on enjoyable – she felt like she was betraying her own feelings.

If you do something for long enough, it becomes routine and habit. And soon, people begin to associate you with it.

Like..Krishna, the boy who bit his lip since he was a kid. He was, well…known for biting his lip.

And Lily? Lily was known for throwing tantrums at the Marauders (namely, James). Lily was known for finding them a complete nuisance.

It was the image that people associated with her. Krishna..the boy who bit his lip. Lily…the girl who disliked and rejected James Potter.

Sure, on the odd good day, they were tolerable. But today wasn't supposed to be one of those days.

Lily was supposed to find this day endless, torturous and grueling. She honestly felt it ought to be that way.

So she had fallen quiet in an attempt to remedy this. And now, she was sitting behind the conversation, straining to pick up pieces of it and struggling to bite her tongue from participating. She sighed loudly, and tried to focus on the scenery outside instead.

She really didn't think this summer was going to significantly change anything, unless she was blind for the past six years.

James, from the spot on the couch, was only half listening to the conversation surrounding him. As he heard Lily sigh, he figured she probably wasn't having a very good time.

His eyes fell to the chess set, and he wondered what play he should make. What move should he do?

It was never a secret that James liked Lily. And so, it only followed that he was supremely happy to see her at his door, if not a little confused. He wanted her here…with him. He wanted her to see him, so that maybe she would find something that she would like about him. All he wanted was the change her opinion of him.

He frowned. She clearly didn't want the same.

Finally, making his decision, James got up and walked towards her.

"Come with me," he said gently, nodding towards the door. "I want to show you something."

Lily frowned, not really trusting him. He was probably up to something.

He seemed to expect this, because he hastily declared his innocence, without her having to voice her suspicions. "You just don't seem to want to be here," James explained, gesturing around the room. "I think you'd really enjoy the library much more."

He almost laughed at how her eyes brightened at the mention of the books. He resisted the urge to hold out his hand, knowing she wouldn't accept it. Instead, he simply waited for her to stand up.

"You have a library? Who has a library?"

He nodded and shrugged.

If she was impressed, she didn't show it. "Okay," she said simply, acquiescing.

He led the way out of the room and down a staircase by the end of the hall. Two doors down on the floor below, was an entrance with large mahogany double doors.

"Wow," Lily breathed, as he pushed the doors apart, allowing them to enter.

Books filled every corner of the room, overflowing from the shelves into stacks on the floor and desks. It was endearingly unorganized, and Lily was instantly in love. Her melancholic thoughts lifted almost immediately.

She hesitantly met James' eyes, silently asking "may I?"

To which James nodded, admiring how enraptured Lily was with his books.

Lily stepped into the room, her shoes echoing. She fingered the first book she could reach, and grinned at James. "Are you sure your parents won't mind?"

"Hardly anyone ever comes down here," James admitted after shaking his head, no, to her. "Feel free."

"Thanks Potter," she said, sincerely, even as her eyes were already skimming the back cover of the book she held.

"Figured you'd enjoy this more," he replied. "Besides," he added, as he backed out of the room slowly, "having you fall in love with this library will only add to my utter attractiveness."

At that, Lily looked up from her book. Instead of the annoyance she was expecting, she was kind of amused. Maybe it was because, for once, he sounded less arrogant, and more teasing. It left her more than a little baffled.

Luckily, he moved on before she had to respond. "I trust you won't get lost in here?"

"I wouldn't mind, even if I did," she assured.

"Alright," he agreed, "we'll find you when Kat's ready to leave then, I suppose." With that, he turned on his heels and left her alone, quietly closing the door behind him with a 'click'.

In the silence that followed, she returned to skimming the excerpt of the book she was holding, when a sudden flood of guilt washed over her.

She had behaved like a child, grumbling in her own unhappiness and sulking in a corner.

She set the book down gingerly. Maybe, she considered, she ought to try harder and be more open minded to the idea that there was more to James. Maybe she didn't know him as well as she thought. Lily certainly hadn't expected him to bring her to the library because she seemed sad in the room. Or to leave her _alone _even.

After carefully considering, she resolved to make a bit of an effort. Since she was going to be around all summer anyways, she couldn't possible sulk forever. It was impractical.

At last, she picked up the book she had been skimming and headed for the door. She could read by the window, she supposed, upstairs.

* * *

><p>AN: Hey guys, I don't know how I feel about this chapter. It's long, and I don't know if you guys found it a little dull.

Please review guys! I really don't know how you guys are finding the story and I'd love to hear your opinions and suggestions. Plus, it's always nice to see an email with a review, as all of you probably know. I've got a lot planned for this story, and I'm trying hard to make sure it's different from other JPLE stories out there.


	4. Quidditch

4: Quidditch

Fair skin, Lily thought, was the most annoying thing on the planet. She reached into her purse and rummaged through its contents, until she found her bottle of sunscreen. Gingerly squeezing a small dollop onto her palm, she rubbed the lotion over her face with her fingertips.

She hated the sticky feel of sunscreen on her skin, especially on a hot summer day like today. But the other option was for her to turn into a crispy slice of bacon, and that was worse.

This was only one of the reasons she had never really taken to the stupid sport. If it wasn't played in the scorching summer sun, then it'd be played in the harsh winter winds. She could remember the last time she'd watched a quidditch game – it was just a month ago.

_Lily wasn't a die-hard quidditch fan. But there were only a couple games a year, and if she wasn't busy, she'd come to support her house. However, when she looked out at the sky this morning, seeing the ominous thunder clouds looming, she really hadn't wanted to come out. _

_She rubbed her hands together, trying to get the friction of the motion to thaw her hands out. Thankfully, there was a neat little bubble cast protectively over the audience, deterring the rain._

_She reached into her coat pocket and brought out her wand, intent on casting a quick warming charm when suddenly, she heard Mark McDonald's voice broadcasting over the entire stadium._

"_Potter, look out!"_

_Lily's eyes flashed upwards, immediately searching out the boy who was just mentioned, as she dropped the task at hand._

"_Phew, Potter narrowly escaped the bludger Brians sent his way. Oh, and he even manages to intercept the quaffle from Young's throw. Gryffindor now has possession!"_

_When she finally spotted James, he was flying full force to the three hoops on the right of the field, the red ball tucked in the nook of his arms._

_She hated to admit it, but he was particularly handsome when playing quidditch. She usually let the blame fall completely on the thrill of the whole dangerous sport thing. But today, Potter had yet to do something to annoy her, so she was willing to give him a little credit._

_There was just something about him, when he played quidditch, that made him more attractive. Mind you, not that she was attracted or anything._

_Maybe it was the complete confidence he had, when he placed himself on that broom. Not that he ever acted anything but confident. This was different though._

_Or maybe it was the fact that, 6 years into the game, he still looked utterly elated when the word quidditch was even mentioned. Given, at times, Lily found that terribly annoying._

_Or maybe it was the command he had as a captain. She recalled, even from first year, he had always told her he'd be captain of the team one day. The first few times he told her, she'd laughed it off. How could a kid so annoying be captain? But after she saw him fly, and after she saw how much perseverance he possessed (mostly spent on bothering her), she knew he'd make it one day. And from all accounts, she knew he was a good one._

_Likely though, it was the fact that he was a couple hundred yards away from her, unable to tease, taunt, flirt with, or annoy her. _

_As she watched him skillfully maneuver past a couple of Ravenclaw's players, and then unselfishly pass the ball to the fifth year, Grant, who scored, she had to admit he was a hell of a good player._

_Sometimes, it frustrated Lily to no end that he seemed to be so good at well..everything. And because of that, she just felt like she had to be better. Lily hated being second to him. But in the case of quidditch, Lily was hopeless at the sport and James was decidedly talented at it. _

_She smiled slightly as he high fived his teammate, and cheered with the rest of the crowd on her side of the stadium. _

_Only then did she feel the sting in her hands, realizing they were still freezing and slightly numb. _

_Shaking her head, she looked down and quickly murmured the spell. All the while, she was thinking. It was ironic. The one thing that gave James the biggest ego boost (which she abhorred), was the one thing where she could actually appreciate James Potter._

_She looked up, only to see him catch sight of her. He sent her a wink._

_Lily quickly looked away, carefully placing a disgusted look on her face. Once in a while, at least, she added, amending her previous comment._

* * *

><p>Lily shifted uncomfortably on the wooden bench, and carefully snuck a sidelong glance at James, seated to her right. Remus was seated between them, a result of her skillful maneuvering.<p>

Remus, who thought she was looking at him, raised his eyebrow at her, silently asking what she wanted.

Lily shook her head, dumped the bottle back in her bag, and turned back to the game.

She rubbed a little sunscreen off her nose, and decided she appreciated this weather over the cold, by far. Trying to focus back on the game in front of her proved futile though, as her mind kept wandering back to James Potter. Unfortunately.

This was the third time in a week she would be seeing the Marauders, and it was three times too much.

But still, she thought, this wasn't so bad. At least her summer was certainly more interesting. Lily loved books at all, but a summer spent solely on reading seemed dull in comparison now.

Before she had met up with the boys this morning, she had determined to be silent and untalkative today. The night before, she had lain in bed and considered the past two days spent with the Marauders. Lily realized that she had been too soft and weak. The first day, she really ought to have stayed in the library, for example!

She had shared this with Kat upon seeing her, but her friend had simply sent her a dull look, and said, "Oh Lils, I knew you'd start overreacting soon."

_Well, she wasn't! _Lily thought.

Kat had also noted that Lily seemed to be getting along a lot better with James. "You haven't cursed him once in the past two days!"

"The only thing that stopped me was the fact that my wand was too far away!" Lily had protested.

"Well that was just once," Kat had conceded.

James had incurred her wrath by insulting the centaurs, which had rapidly escalated from a civil debate into a full blown argument. But nonetheless, Kat had been right. Lily hadn't been particularly angry at all while hanging out with James. Still the thoguht of her getting along better the him disconcerted her, and she haddetermined to be silent and untalkative today.

That was the plan at least, but a question kept nagging her, until she was forced to ask out loud. "Why aren't you in the game?"

Remus and James on her right, and Kat on her left, all heard her.

Kat bit back a smile, glad that Lily was initiating conversation. This was a step, she figured. Although, knowing Lily, the girl probably hated herself for letting the question slip out loud.

The boys were a bit more surprised at her question, both turning to stare at her for a few seconds. So far, the game had passed by in steadfast silence, at least when it came to Lily. Here and there, Kat, Remus, James and Peter would speak. Lily refused to turn her head, choosing to focus on the game instead.

Finally, James cleared his throat, unsure whether the question was directed at him or not. He asked her that, to which she nodded briefly.

Continuing to look at her profile, he explained. "This is the summer league around here. The Lightning had their tryouts the last week of June, right after school ended. I had a sprained wrist at the time, so I never tried out."

The only thing James got in response was a short nod, telling him that she had heard him and was satisfied with his answer. He turned back to the game, a little disappointed.

It was a minute later when, surprisingly, she spoke to him again. Lily had honestly tried not to respond, clearly in vain. "How did you sprain your wrist?" She blamed her curiosity.

James considered for a moment, before opting to answer truthfully. "Er," he hesitated, sharing an impish look with Remus, who was paying attention to their conversation. "A prank." He held his breath, waiting on Lily's reaction.

Lily sighed audibly. Of course, a prank. What else? Still, she resignedly refrained from reprimanding them. They weren't in school and she really didn't want to bother.

Five minutes later, James spoke again, determined to keep up a conversation, instead of letting the chance pass. He was encouraged by the fact that Lily hadn't really berated them for the prank, like usual. "It's kind of nice to just watch though," he commented. "Now I know what it's like for Moony and Wormtail all year round," he teased.

Remus simply laughed, as Peter gave James a light nudge. He was a little disappointed when Lily didn't say anything else.

Kat, deciding to help James along, asked, "do you guys come to all his games?"

"All of them," James affirmed, smiling at the girl.

"Don't you guys have a life?" Lily couldn't help but return, not meanly. She gave up on the notion of staying silent altogether now.

She was surprised to hear James laugh. So surprised, that she turned to look at him. His laughter wasn't rare, but she had just never heard it so close to him. And, in her memory, not because of something she said. If anything, he'd laugh at her.

"We _are _the most boring people you know, Lily."

"If only_." _ She rolled her eyes at his sarcasm.

He chuckled deeply again, and Lily continued to watch him. "They only play two games the entire summer," he explained. "It's really not hard to attend them all."

Lily crinkled her forehead, slightly confused. "How do you determine a champion with just two games? How does that even work? It seems like so little."

"Well," Remus put in, "there's only three teams." As he said this, he reached into his bag and pulled out a novel, thumbing the corner until he found his marked page, and cracked the book open.

Peter looked up from staring intently at his hands. "And they all suck," he added. He then watched the game for a few seconds, before deciding his shoes were more interesting.

Lily quickly turned towards Kat, glad that she wasn't the only one terribly confused. They stared at the uninterested Marauders, before sharing a look. This was quidditch we were talking about!

"Of the three teams," James began, clarifying for the girls, "one is absolutely a disaster. I swear some members could barely fly a broom. Even _you _may be better than them."

"Hey!" Lily protested as Kat and Remus laughed out loud. "What's that supposed to mean?" she demanded at James. "And you're supposed to be reading," she pointed at Remus. "Don't encourage him!"

"I am reading!" Remus protested, looking up. He paused. "Lily, you're terrible at quidditch," he then said bluntly, smiling gently.

James thanked Merlin he wasn't the one to say that to Lily, or else he'd have been hexed, he was sure.

Instead, James watched with slight jealousy as his friend got off scot-free. "Fine," Lily admitted. "I'm terrible. Do continue."

"On the Lightning, Sirius' team, he's the only one who actually plays quidditch at a school. The rest of the team just play for fun, so they aren't very good either. Better, but not very good."

Lily could definitely see that, just from the first few minutes of the game. "And the team they're playing today?"

"Well, they have four whole players that are decent. One of which is actually a pretty good seeker. Thus, there really isn't much of a game to watch. They'll win, once the snitch shows up. Until then, we just wait," James continued, with a shrug. "Really, they're going to be the champions of the league."

"But, Sirius made it sound so…" Kat began.

"…important," Lily finished for her.

"Exactly," Kat agreed.

"You're talking about the guy who could convince McGonagall to give Gryffindor 30 points when she fully intended to give him a detention," he states blankly.

Lily let out a little laugh, imagining it. James smiled, feeling incredibly accomplished and happy at how successful this conversation was turning out to be, his previous jealousy gone. He would have to seriously thank Sirius for inviting Kat and Lily to the game today. He kind of wished there were more than two games.

Lily sobered up quickly. "When was that?" she asked calmly. But seeing how wide James' grin was, she felt a little guilty, and allowed a small smile.

"First year," James returned happily, acting like his true self, letting himself babble a little. "Rookie mistake for McGonagall. She was furious when she realized she'd been played."

"Never happened again, no matter how hard Sirius tried," Remus added.

* * *

><p>When the conversation quickly fell into a lapse once again soon after, James felt the need to continue it. He was about to say something, when Remus, barely glancing up from his book, gently put his hand on James' arm to stop him.<p>

He found that Lily was busy whispering something to Kat. He turned back to the game instead.

He was pretty satisfied with today's conversation as it was. It was perhaps the most he had ever spoken to Lily without her getting angry, him feeling dejected, it being school related, or it being a lecture.

He smiled to himself. He didn't know why this was all happening, but he wasn't going to complain.

Sirius scored again, as on his team, him being a chaser was much more helpful than a beater, and James dutifully cheered.

That unknowingly brought him, once again, to Lily's attention.

There weren't a lot of people in the stands, so he kind of looked outrageous cheering so loudly by himself, Lily thought.

She was surprised that he was even paying attention to the game, despite how utterly boring it was. Even Lily, with her limited knowledge of the sport, could tell that Sirius' team was certainly being outplayed.

Given the situation, she half expected James to be bothering her or attempting to flirt with her…which she supposed was rather egotistical of her. His track record certainly hinted at it though. But then again, wasn't everyone repeatedly telling her not to judge him by his track record. Here again was another example of him proving her wrong.

She desperately hoped she wasn't wrong in the end. Having Sirius, James, and Kat all saying 'I told you so' would be unbearable.

Given that thought, she resolved to give him the cold shoulder for the rest of the game.

* * *

><p>The Lightning lost, unsurprisingly.<p>

Even Sirius didn't seem bummed at all, which was unusual, given his usual reactions to losing a quidditch game at Hogwarts.

The six of them had returned to James' house. The girls had immediately demanded Sirius to go take a shower, and the rest of them were currently lounging lazily in the same room as last time. Her observation before had been correct – it was the usual spot of choice for the Marauders.

Suddenly, a loud gurgling noise was heard in the room. All eyes turned to James, who looked unabashed.

"Anyone else hungry?" he asked, getting up.

Remus nodded, marking his page in the book before closing it and joined his friend standing up.

Peter, quickly surveying the situation and deciding he'd really rather not be left alone with Lily Evans and Kat Elliot, decided that he was hungry too and scurried after the boys exiting the room. "We'll be back in five," he assured as he left.

Lily nodded, and shifted in her seat to take up more space now that the boys were gone. She stretched out on the couch as she shifted herself to lean on her side, lying down.

"I'm bored," Kat declared, from her seat on the ground. "You'd think spending the summer with the Marauders would be a little more interesting."

"We went to a quidditch game Kat. We just got back 10 minutes ago," Lily responded, running her fingers over the chessboard on the table.

"Well the game wasn't very interesting."

"Want to play chess?"

Kat scrunched up her nose in disgust. "I hate chess. It's so unnecessarily violent!"

"I'm pretty sure it's one of the least violent games out there," Lily said dryly.

"I mean the pieces!" Still, Kat shuffled forwards, towards the chessboard on the coffeetable between the girls. "Hey, what's all this?" She pulled out the papers pinned under the board carefully, without disrupting the pieces.

Lily recalled seeing them the last two times she was here, and shrugged, also curious.

"Oh, you're not going to like this," Kat murmured from behind the papers. Lily could barely see the top of her head, as she flipped between the pages.

"What is it?" Lily asked, sitting up. She glanced at the door, feeling like she was snooping. Technically, the papers weren't really hidden, she protested to herself.

"You're really not going to like this," Kat sighed, handing her the stack of papers.

Lily ignored her friend and began skimming through the papers.

She frowned.

Hearing footsteps in the hall, she quickly shoved the papers back under the chessboard and picked up Remus' book off the table, pretending to read the summary at the back.

"Interesting," she murmured.

* * *

><p>AN: I've been working so it's been slow, but I hope you like this.

And, about obliviating. I never really thought of that, to be honest. I guess that is an option, but I don't think Lily would take it. It just seems not right, to tamper with someone's memory without permission. I think Lily would rather take the summer with James than do something like that. It seems a little invasive and just…wrong. At least to me, but its cool you pointed it out because I didn't even consider it.

Anyways, review. Let me know what you think. Always love to hear from people.


	5. Letting Go

**A/N: Honest to god, I'm a little emotional from watching the HP premiere, and a little inspired to finish this story!**

5: Friends

It was the middle of the afternoon. He was sitting on his bed, leaning against his pillow he had propped up against his backboard. In his hands was the latest copy of _Quidditch Weekly_, which he had picked up as Sirius had stood to leave the room.

The sun trickled through the window and onto his body. He slapped the magazine shut and tossed it on the floor carelessly, not really interested in it. He leaned forwards and pulled his socks off, getting warm. He threw them on the floor as well, onto a growing pile of clothes nearby.

He thought of his previous conversation with Sirius. Lily's sudden presence in his life was disconcerting him. He wasn't quite sure if it was good or bad.

_"Honestly Potter," she had sighed, exasperated, "just give up."_

_That had hurt._

_Those were the last words she spoke to him before leaving in fifth year. Now they were in the middle of sixth year, and here she was, saying it again._

_As if it were that easy for him...to "just give up"._

_He had tried, damnit. Beneath whatever front he put on, he was tired of being rejected, tired of letting her words cut him, tired of hurting her as well._

_He had come back from that summer, completely ready to move on. In his estimation, it only took a few moments of seeing her again, before he knew giving up wasn't an option._

_And so he had found another way. He was learning to let go. Sure, he still really really liked Lily Evans, that hadn't changed. To some degree, it probably never would change. And he knew he couldn't give up. But he had learned to laugh off her rejections, instead of continuously forcing himself on her. He learned to find amusement in her protests, never to laugh at her, but to ease the sting on himself. He learned to contain himself, and be satistisfied from admiring her from afar once._

_He knew he didn't have to worry about showing everyone that he was hers anymore. The only good thing that had come from the past few year, he figured, was the fact that everyone knew James liked Lily. He no longer had to make it a point in every class, every hall, every lunch and dinner._

_He learned to be...for lack of a better word, tactful in his pursuit._

_James had just won the quidditch game before the Christmas holidays, and caught sight of Lily in the Gryffindor common room. Gathering his bravery, fueled by the win, he had approached her, and for the first time in over two months, sincerely asked her to go to Hogsmeade with him._

_He watched her walk away, as sadness washed over him slowly. Her words weren't as harsh as they used to be, but they still carried the same tired tone that she saved, just for him._

_Remus had seen what had transpired, and appeared beside him. He clapped James on the shoulder gently. "She'll see soon enough how much you've grown up," he assured quietly, joining his friend in watching Lily disappear._

_James wasn't sure if she ever would._

_But in the spirit of "laughing off her rejections", he brought his own hand to Remus' shoulder. "Eh, it's not as if I was expecting a different answer," he lied glibly. "Let's get back to the party."_

* * *

><p>Sirius was sprawled sideways on the couch, his head resting on one arm and his feet propped up on the other. He tossed his toy snitch into the air, and then snatched it with his other hand before it could fly away. He threw it back up in the air again.<p>

"Why can't Moony and Wormtail come again?"

"They're at some big premiere thing at Trafalgar Square today," James replied, barely glancing away from the television.

"Oh yeah," Sirius recalled, "Moony's been droning on and on about how it was some big deal or something."

"Man, this is so _boring_." Sirius complained.

"Yeah," James agreed, not really listening.

"We should do something," he continued. "Maybe we could go outside…but it's so hot. What do you think?"

"Yeah," James nodded. "Bloody! Don't do that!" he shouted at the screen.

"You're not even listening to me anymore are you?"

"I totally agree," James continued robotically.

Sirius sighed and popped up to snatch the escaping snitch. He rolled his eyes. "Maybe we could invite Evans over…"

"What?" James suddenly perked up, turning to his friend. He made a big, exaggerated show of scrambling to his knees to face Sirius.

"You're impossible," Sirius laughed.

James shut of the television, and sat himself down on his bed. "Speaking of which, don't you find it curious how she's been turning up around here?"

"She's been around 3 days," Sirius pointed out.

"That's three more than..well..she's ever willingly spent with us."

"Really mate, shouldn't you just be grateful?" Sirius returned, avoiding the question.

"Who said I wasn't?" He paused. "It's just…I understand her showing up the first day. Kind of. But blimney, the Evans I know would never accept your invitation to a quidditch match. And a chess tournament….really? She'd squawk at our audacity for inviting her and then run the other way. "

At this, Sirius sat up. He could tell his friend was clearly suspicious, and that needed to end before James did something stupid like _ask _Evans why she kept showing up.

"Maybe she really likes chess?"

"More than she hates me? Unlikely."

"She doesn't hate you mate," Sirius feebly reassured.

James merely sent him a look. "_I hate you James Potter!" _ He had made his voice high, and placed his hands on his hips angrily, giving a mighty good impression of Lily Evans.

Sirius chuckled. "Fine," he admitted. "On a side note, don't you ever do that in front of her. I don't want to bury my best mate."

"I value my own life as well, but thank you for the advice."

"Look, for whatever reason, she's willing to be here. Just accept it, take advantage of it, and enjoy it," Sirius said, sounding uncharacteristically wise at that moment.

"But this is Evans we're talking about. It just doesn't make any sense," James said seriously.

"Don't you want her to be here?"

"Of course I do," James said honestly. "You know I want nothing more. But you can't blame me for being suspicious of her reasons."

"Well, what exactly do you think she's planning?" Sirius questioned, generally curious as to what his friend was thinking.

"I don't know. Really, I don't think she could have any motive. Maybe it's Kat that's dragging her along," James mused aloud. "That would make a lot of sense."

Sirius was relieved. James believe that was perfectly reasonable, and a satisfactory answer as to why Lily Evans was suddenly willing to spend time with the Marauders.

"Whatever the reason," Sirius suddenly began, an oddly serious moment forming, "just make the best of it okay?" His expression seemed like he was trying to send James a message, so much so that James had a distinct impression that Sirius knew more than he was letting on. "You rarely get the chance to really spend time with Evans, and now that it's happening…you know, you should show her the Prongs we know." He ran a hand through his hair. "And this is why I leave this sappy stuff to Remus."

James smiled and nodded, grabbing the magazine that Sirius threw on his bed as he stood up.

As Sirius left the room, he let his thoughts manifest.

He really _was _trying…to take advantage of this opportunity.

It wasn't as easy as just flicking a switch to turn off his feelings for her. It was a constant effort for him to hide the effect she had on him, so he could act normal around her.

But he knew he had made some progress in sixth year. He could see it in the way she acted around him. And he knew he had made even more progress in the last few days. They talked for the first time in his recent memory – really _talked. _Like a normal, non school related, conversation between potential friends, and that gave him more hope than anything.

As he sat there in his room, on his bed, thinking about his past with her, he decided that becoming friends was a good start. If that was all he could get from her, he'd still be satisfied, he assured himself convincingly.

_Friends, _he thought, tasting the word in his minds. He'd never really thought that was an option…it was all or nothing before. Well, honestly, nothing wasn't an option either. But, he considered, it would be nice to be friends with her.

He had a vague idea that if Remus were here, listening to his thoughts at this moment, his friend would have been proud.

"Jamie!"

The voice snapped him out of his thoughts, as he slipped off his bed, and padded his way to the door. He peaked his head out of his room. "Yes mum?"

"Come down to the kitchen! Your dad and I want to talk to you for a minute," she called in return, her voice sounding hesitant.

Obediently, he made his way down the stairs and to his parents in the kitchen, curious as to what news couldn't wait until dinner. He was either in trouble, which was unlikely as he couldn't recall doing anything worthy of reprimanding, or something had happened. That thought made him worry, and quicken his pace.

"Is everything alright?" he inquired, the moment he stepped into the kitchen.

"Sit down James," his father said, causing a grim feeling to surge through his body and settle in his stomach.

"What is it?"

"Gwen's mom just popped in the fireplace," Mrs. Potter began, gesturing at the flickering fire in the other room.

James felt oddly scared, what with him sitting in his chair, and his parents looming over him across the table.

The Gwen his mom was talking about was Gwenyth Beal, one of his oldest friends. Their families had been close ever since James could remember, and she had been his friend since James could crawl. He remembered how upset he'd been at 11 when he'd learned that she was going to Beauxbaton, boarding in France, instead of going to Hogwarts like they'd always agreed upon as children. The tantrum he threw that day still impressed him, even now.

At that thought, a smile broke out on his face, but he quickly sobered up.

"Remember how, at the beginning of summer, she was admitted to St. Mungo's?"

The sinking feeling in James' stomach felt heavier by the second, and he didn't like where this was going. He forced a nod.

"You should go visit her tomorrow. She really wants to tell you herself."

He frowned. "Mum, you can't just say something ominous like this and stop. What's wrong? I thought you guys said she was admitted because she was exhausted and her parents were worried about her weight!"

"Well, they didn't think it was a big deal. And you know how Gwen is, always pushing herself," his mother mused, "I reckon she should have been checked in earlier, but she was just so adamant about staying in school."

"Honey, tell the poor boy what's wrong because you're just making it worse," his father interrupted.

She nodded. "James," she began gently, "Gwen has … cancer."

"Cancer?" he question, the word feeling foreign, even though he knew vaguely what it was. He knew it wasn't that common in the wizarding world, because usually, any signs were detected quite early with magic.

"It progressed rapidly for her, they never saw it coming," his dad put in, before he could even ask his question.

"Can't they fix it?" he asked, his voice sounding timid and childlike. But he knew that his parents wouldn't be giving the news to him this way if they could fix it. The small shake of his parents' heads merely confirmed his thoughts.

He felts his hands fall to his sides, and his shoulders drop.

Gwen, so full of life. She used to be his everything as a kid, his childhood love, his first crush. Now, more than ever, he regretted the distance that had come to grow between them in the last couple of years. They were still close, but it wasn't the same.

Still, he couldn't imagine his life without her, and that was exactly what his parents were implying.

"Don't think too much about it yet James," his father told him knowlingly, "talk to her tomorrow first."

"Can't I go right now?" James suddenly asked, impatient to see her again.

"Visiting hours are over," his father explained.

"We just wanted you to be prepared," his mother began.

James frowned. He didn't think you could ever be prepared for something like this.


	6. Dim The Lights

**A/N: I'm still unsure if I should tackle something like cancer, but since I've started, if any of you guys have advice let me know.**

Ch 6: Dim the Lights

Lily looked at him, and I mean, really looked at him for the first time in a long time. Even just in the past few days, Lily had to admit she had seen how much effort James put in to appear grown up. But, on the rare occasion today, he looked like a kid again. And not in the childish, mischievous way the Marauders were so well acquainted with.

This scared her, because James Potter never looked worried or scared like this. Never.

It took a lot for her to admit her own wrongs. She remembered this one incident.

"_I can't believe you Lily!"_

"_What?" Lily protested, "He's still an arrogant arse!"_

"_Well I certainly don't think so," Kat responded, crossing your arms. "You know, sometimes you're really mean to him Lils," she lectured, speeding up down the path._

_Lily sped up to catch up with her friend. "What's that supposed to mean?" She felt offended, and slightly guilty at the same time, which only served to increase her defensive tone._

"_Don't you see how much he cares for you? I swear, he's trying his best to change for you this year. This is the first time he asked you out in forever!" Kat responded crossly._

"_Well, even if he's changed, I still don't like him and I don't want to go out with him."_

"_But you don't have to say something like 'just give up'," Kat sighed. "I swear Lily, you're killing him."_

_Lily pulled her hat down further over her ears, as the wind was nippinig at them. "I didn't mean for it to sound like that! Honestly! I was pretty gentle with it."_

_Her friend gave her a pointed look. "How gentle could it be?"_

"_Well, why do you care so much anyways?" Lily asked defensively, crossing her arms as well. "It's like, you always want me to be with him. I don't like him!"_

"_SH!" Kat grabbed her arm before she could continue forward._

"_What?" Lily hissed angrily, but quietly, just in case there was a good reason for her friend to shush her._

_It turned out that Kat did have good reason, as she pointed to a group of people a short distance ahead of them on the path to Hogsmeade._

"_Is that Potter?"_

_Lily squinted her eyes. Immediately, she felt to make sure her wand was present and gripped it. "With Malfoy, the 7__th__ year and his friends."_

"_What are you doing?" Kat asked immediately, gesturing towards Lily's grip on her wand, eyes widening._

"_Come on, you know they're going to start some type of duel," Lily explained, exasperated. "I'm a prefect," she declared righteously._

"_If they _do _start a duel, you'd better not run in there demanding you're a prefect. I've heard Malfoy throws some pretty nasty curses."_

"_You probably heard that from Potter or Black, and _they _probably made it all up," she complained, just for the sake of pinning something more against Potter. The truth was, she didn't doubt that Malfoy dabbled in darker curses._

"_Let's get a little closer."_

"_Lily! Are you mad?"_

"_You're always the one itching for adventure," Lily pointed out correctly, even as she inched forwards to hearing distance._

_Kat sighed, but followed nonetheless._

"—_I don't want to fight you Malfoy," they heard Potter say dully. At that, Kat sent Lily a triumphant look._

"_His hands still on his wand," Lily hissed back. Kat shrugged nonchalantly._

"_You know, your favourite Black boy has nowhere to go this Christmas," Lucius smirked. "Disowned by his own family. Burnt off the family tree. I saw it myself, when I was visiting Narcissa."_

"_Watch it," James commanded, his voice shaking under restraint. Lily had to admire that he was one amongst 3 older Slytherins, and he looked a lot more intimidating._

"—_how pathetic," Lucius continued, snarling, "Sirius Black, reduced to a black mark on a wall. Actually… it's fitting."_

_For a second, James looked ready to pounce, and Lily gasped. She wasn't sure if he saw them or not, but suddenly, he relaxed his clenched fists, relieving the white in his knuckles, and took a step back._

"_Thanks for letting me know Malfoy. But Sirius always has a place to go for Christmas and he knows it," James said, almost arrogantly, as if issuing a challenge. Then, he turned his back on them and walked away._

_Walked away._

_Given, she did see a little twitch in his wand when he was farther off, and she was almost certain that was what caused the snow from the branch looming over the group of Slytherin's to come tumbling down._

"_Told you he wouldn't start a duel. I'm telling you Lily, he's changed. And you're just too stubborn to see it!"_

"_Am not!" Lily defended. "You're just always nice to him! Aren't you supposed to be _my _best friend?"_

"_Well, what excuse do you have this time then Lily? Out with It," Kat predicted, exasperated with her stubborn friend._

"_He saw us! He heard us! That's why he didn't start something!" Lily said decidedly. "Yes, that's it."_

_Kat sighed, and looped her arm through her friends, pulling her along behind the sputtering Slytherins._

"_Think about it Lils. What does it matter why he stopped? He did, didn't he? That's always what you've asked him to do." _

_Lily opened her mouth to retort, despite the fact that she knew her friend did have a point. She felt oddly about this whole situation she just witnessed, to be honest, and was determined not to let it continue to bother her over her Christmas break. The last thing she needed was to have James Potter ruin her break, when for the first time in 6 years, he wasn't doing anything intentionally._

Lily snapped out of her memory. She couldn't help it. "Potter?" she asked hesitantly. She paused, not sure how to go about this, never having done this before. "Are you…okay?"

He turned towards her, surprised. But it only took him a moment to recover. Quickly, as if realizing she was there, watching him, the odd look on his face disappeared, replaced by his usual offhanded expression. "Of course," he answered. And if she wasn't looking so hard, she wouldn't have noticed it didn't quite sound as casual and relaxed as he had intended.

She had been reluctant to see the change in him, but not refusing to. Maybe he had changed.

She twisted her hands in front of her, considering whether she should bring this us with Kat. A part of her felt compelled to talk this through with her friend, to find some way to…maybe help him? She gulped. Then another part of her feared that it would make it seem like she cared about him, that she worried about him, and she wasn't quite sure if she was ready for that yet.

She reached out and gripped her friend's arm tightly, before she could let herself change her mind.

* * *

><p>James stared off into the crowd of people, kind of in a daze. He had a lot on his mind, and he really didn't feel like being at this festival at all for a multitude of reasons.<p>

He just wasn't in the mood for fancy displays of fireworks, or Verilly's Make-Your-Own-Flavour Ice cream. Suddenly, all of the things he was so excited about three days ago seemed so insignificant since his visit to St. Mungo's.

He felt a sharp pain in his side, caused by Sirius nudging him, and snapped out of his trancelike state, just in time to see worried expressions on his friends' faces – even Lily's. None of them new why he was so out of it today. Only Sirius did.

But Sirius hadn't seen her lying in the hospital bed. Sirius hadn't seen her sallow face. He didn't want Sirius to worry just yet.

"_James," his mother began gently, "Gwen has…cancer." _That had been three days ago.

Promptly after that, the day after, he had found himself outside the abandoned old department store called Purge & Dowse Ltd. in the middle of London. He hated staring at the ugly dummy inside the window, across the pane of glass. He hated it because there was never a good reason to see that dummy, as it always meant someone he knew was hurt, or injured.

His parents had been clustered behind him, and he had watched as his dad tapped the glass twice. "We're here to see Gwyneth Beal," he enunciated, after clearing his throat roughly.

A moment later, he had found himself in a brightly lit reception room, with witches and wizards buzzing around him.

He remembered an oddly melancholy feeling penetrating the room. He had felt as if all the visitors were visiting relatives who were all on their death beds, and the healers were simply hiding their own sorrow at having to diagnose death behind their bright green robes. He had felt nervous and clammy, a feeling he rarely allowed himself to feel.

He had let his parents approach the thin blonde witch busily typing away at the front desk, and had wandered to the sign describing who was on which floor.

Maybe magical bugs, or spell damage, he had considered, after reading the entire plaque on the wall, before he felt his mother's hand on his shoulder. "She's in a closed ward on the secondfloor," she said quietly, gently guiding him down a corridor.

"But it's not a magical bug," he remembered pointing out.

"It's the long term care ward," his father had gently told him. James remembered nodding, almost numbly now.

Each step up the creaky stairs had felt like another step up the ladder of panic within James. He just didn't know what to say. He didn't know how to act. He didn't want to pity her, but what if he did, and couldn't mask it? Did she want pity? How was he supposed to comfort her, when he knew next to nothing about cancer.

He had resolved to learn more about it.

When they had neared the closed ward, he caught sight of Gwen's parents.

"Oh, dearie," Mrs. Beal gushed, the moment she spotted him. "She'll be so pleased to finally see you! She's feeling quite well today. Oh, go on! In you go," she informed his, as she ushered him towards the entrance. His parents stopped to talk, leaving James to face the set of double doors alone.

He remembered considering chickening out and waiting for the adults. He remembered thinking he ought to have been sorted in Hufflepuff, cause he certainly didn't feel brave enough for Gryffindor, smart enough for Ravenclaw, and he'd loathe being in Slytherin.

Then, a picture of him and Gwen showed up in his head. They were both nine, chasing a little grey rabbit in the field behind his house. Suddenly, it leaped out of view, off a tall ridge.

With barely any hesitation, James leaped after it, jumping down the edge three times his height. He was flying. With magic.

James pushed open the doors, and steadfastly ignored all the other patients, refusing to even catch a glimpse of their face, for fear of what he would see.

"You can look at me you know," came a soft joking voice on his right. "I'm not dead yet."

"Gwen?" he stopped abruptly, startled.

"Hi James."

He had simply stood there, not knowing what to do. Feeling like he should do, well, _something,_ he had grabbed a chair and pulled it over beside her bed, making himself busy.

Finally he sat down, coming up with words. "Don't say stuff like that," he chided.

She ignored him. It was better to pretend it didn't matter. Death.

"Remember when we were kids, and mum brought us to this place that was supposed to be filled with four leaf clovers?"

He nodded. They had been maybe six back then. Or even younger, maybe. "I found like five, and you found none," his lips twitched.

"I was never very lucky," she admitted ruefully, looking around her. "Of all things. I get cancer. I think I'd rather get bitten."

By a werewolf. That was what she meant. It was considered one of the unluckiest things to have forced on a person – James was very sympathetic to that, because of Remus, but bit his lip to refrain from reproving her.

She hadn't seemed very sad, James recalled. But he wasn't quite sure she was facing her issue. She had continued story after story about the past, as if she were living in it.

"I miss it," she sighed. "I miss us." She touched his hand with hers, and with that shift of light, James had finally seen how sick she looked. Yellow in the face, and thin – so unbelievably thin.

He held her hand. "I do too," he felt the need to reply. He squeezed her hand reassuringly.

He had felt a type of sadness and regret descend upon them, and made an effort to repel it. He forced a smile on his face. "Remember that time, the first time you met Sirius? I had told him so much about you when we were at Hogwarts first year. About how funny you were, how smart and pretty you were, and he was so excited to meet you!"

"And then I came into the room with a stinging curse on my face and a limp from my scraped knee," she chuckled weakly.

"Do you remember how he reacted?"

"He jumped on the couch he was sitting on and screamed 'it's a mini troll!'" she recalled fondly.

"My favourite part about that day was when you took to chasing him around the room trying to send a stinging curse his way," he truly smiled for the first time that day.

He glanced at the clock on the wall and realized they had been talking for an hour. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw her suppress a yawn as her eyes drooped slightly.

It had saddened him, seeing her so exhausted, lying beneath those white sheets.

"Hey Gwen, I ought to let my parents come see you before we have to go," he said, as he retracted his hand from her tight grip.

She frowned.

"I'll come visit again soon. Maybe tomorrow," he promised quickly, before she acquiesced with a nod.

Before he had fully left her vicinity, he swore he heard her sigh, "it's not fair."

* * *

><p>"Earth to James Potter?" Peter waved his bony hand in front of James' face.<p>

They were currently seated on a bench inside Hog's Head Pub, as the Three Broomsticks was completely stuffed to the brim with people of all ages. The annual Wiccan Festival was held in Hogsmeade Village every year, and attracted visitor from all over Britain.

"Oh, leave him alone," Sirius said, nonplussed, as he nursed his butterbeer.

"What's he dreaming of anyways?" Peter wondered aloud, ignoring Sirius. "I mean, Lily's right here." He smirked, expecting a reaction.

He was sorely disappointed however, as everyone seemed to be distracted. Remus was looking over at another table, and waving to a girl. James was…well off dreaming. Lily also seemed distracted, staring either at James, or past James. And Kat was off buying her butterbeer. Sirius was the only one who noted his comment, and chose not to dignify it with a response.

"Oy! James!" Peter called out again, louder this time, successfully garnering everyone's attention.

Lily shook her head, as if to get something out of her hair. "Maybe we ought to get him some chocolate or something. He doesn't look to well," she said quietly.

"I'm fine," James responded, a little brashly, annoyed that everyone was staring at him.

"I didn't mean –" Lily began defensively, the tell-tale crease forming between her brows as she prepared for an argument.

"Now -" Sirius began, attempting to intercept a fight. He knew it'd be the last thing James would need.

"Actually," James said, surprising everyone, "maybe your right. Chocolate would be a good pick me up." He kicked Sirius under the table, depending on his friend to stop Kat and Peter from tagging along, and pointedly looked at Lily. "Would you mind coming with me?"

Lily, who had stopped talking mid sentence, looked confused for a moment. "Well I – " she began, to stall, "oh…um…alright I suppose."

She made a move to stand up, following in James' lead. "Aren't you guys coming?"

"We'll just finish up first," Sirius quickly answered, before the rest of them could get a word in. "You go ahead."

Lily looked over at James, who looked more like his usual determined self. "We could wait," she suggested, still looking at James for some type of confirmation.

"No, no," Sirius beamed, "Go."

Finally, as James held his breath, Lily shrugged. She supposed James wanted to talk to her alone. She wasn't stupid. Besides, the look he gave to Sirius was the same type of look she gave to Kat earlier.

She followed him out the door, and at some point, even considered grabbing his arm in fear of getting pushed away by the enormous streams of people outside. She refrained because she felt that was getting a little to personal.

Still, Lily humoured him as she followed to Honeyduke's – the sweet shop. She suspected he was going to ask her out again. Maybe that was why he was so distracted all day.

She wasn't sure how she felt about that, and spent the rest of the walk there coming up with better words that "Just give up" – a line that had been bothering her since this morning.

She saw him look back, making sure she was still there and not lost in the ocean of people. In the end, he grabbed her arm and pulled her closer behind him, weaving through the throngs of people.

It was probably her thoughts about him changing that made her not pull away.

Finally, they climbed the steps of Honeyduke's. James got to the door first, and turned around, just as Lily climbed the last step. He saw her glance suspiciously at his hand on her arm, and quickly let go, as if burned. "Sorry," he mumbled, a little embarrassed.

"No problem," she said quietly, and awkwardly. If anything, she was even more suspicious now. Why had he let go so fast? What was going on? Still, she forged on. "Shall we go in?"

He peered inside, and she had to wait, as he was blocking her from the door. "There's a lot of kids in there. Maybe we should wait for some of them to leave."

She shrugged, agreeing that there _were _a lot of people in there. As the chimes sounded and the door opened, she shuffled to the railing and leaned against it, getting out of the way for the people exiting.

After the door shut again, James slid into the spot beside her. She crossed her arms over her chest, waiting for him to say what he wanted to say.

"Actually, I kind of wanted to ask you something," he began, after some moments of silence.

She looked straight ahead, but nodded. She could feel him looking at her. "Yeah, I figured."

He bit his lip. "Lily," he began.

_Oh, _she thought, surprised, _he's serious then? He rarely uses my first name when he –_

"What do you know about cancer?"

"What?" she turned back to him, looking supremely surprised.

"Cancer," he repeated, and she heard a note of urgency in his voice, despite his attempt to hide it. She looked at him thoroughly, through suspicious eyes, and noted how troubled he seemed by that word.

"Why do you want to know about it?" She was curious at this unexpected question.

"Oh, I just…" he thought about telling her. "I just heard someone talk about it, and it sounded terrible. I'm just curious," he lied, feigning nonchalance.

Lily knew that was a lie, but didn't push it. She nodded, although she made it clear to him by her frown that she knew there was another reason.

The door opened again with a chime, as someone entered the store.

"Did you want to know about cancer in general? Or were those people talking about a particular type of cancer?"

"Leukemia," he said thoughtfully, after a moment.

She turned around on the railing so that her elbows were leaning on it now. "Well, I'm not an expert or anything…" She glanced at him from the side. He looked so worried, so upset. He clearly had been putting on a brave front all day, she thought. "I only know the muggle stuff about it…"

"Your bone marrow makes white blood cells, and those are the cells that fight diseases. Leukemia means that the bone marrow produces dysfunctional white blood cells. These abnormal cells don't die either, so they overcrowd the system, and that's cancer."

She paused, and waited for him to turn around and assume the same position as her, listening more attentively than she had ever seen him in any class over the past six years.

She continued. "I know there are different types, but I'm not sure about the details of that. Essentially, the patient gets sick easily because they don't have good white blood cells. They get thin for no apparent reason, weak, and bruise or bleed quite easily I believe."

When it appeared to James that Lily had finished, he asked, "Can you treat it?"

She nodded. "Well there's chemotherapy and radiotherapy. Pretty much, you use toxic chemicals or radiation to kill the bad cells, but you kill the good ones too. It causes some pretty gruesome side effects though, like vomiting, nausea, hair loss… it's pretty bad."

"I also know you can get stem cells donated to you so the patient can make new white blood cells from it. You need a donor though..."

She looked at him now, and waited for him to notice and look back at her. "Donating takes a toll on people, requires surgery, and requires you to be a match to the patient."

James felt, for that moment, as if she knew what he was going through. As if she were worried for him, and warning him not to get his hopes up.

"But if cancer can be cured…" he began, some hope in his voice.

"It can't be, really. It can just be stopped for a while, and you kind of cross your fingers and hope it doesn't come back. But often, if you catch it too late, you'd be killing too many good cells for the treatments to work, and it'd end up being more harmful to the patient."

"Then there's nothing you can do at that point?"

"I guess. I don't even think wizards have found a cure." Lily sighed, her fingertips following the grain in the wood. "It's tough."

"Yeah," he agreed.

"For both the person with cancer, and everyone who cares for them," Lily added. She looked at him again. "Forget the chocolate. Let's just go by the back and take a walk. I'm kind of overwhelmed here," she suggested, knowing that James probably wanted to be in a quieter place than a candy shop.

He didn't even look at her, his mind elsewhere, turning over this new information in his head. There was only one question in his mind now…how long did Gwen have? But nodded gratefully nonetheless. "Thanks."


End file.
